


Over and Over again

by WildHurricane



Series: Beautiful Mess [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, No Angst, Romance, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildHurricane/pseuds/WildHurricane
Summary: This is a third part in the Beautiful Mess verse and it’s wedding time! This part is completely angst free (I think), just fluff and some more fluff. And, well, there’s also a wedding night…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm back with a third part in the Beautiful Mess verse, because I simple can't keep myself away from this story. It's been almost a year since I posted the epilogue of Beautiful Mess and a year has passed in the story as well – it’s now December 2018. Writing previous parts of this story I always imagined a winter wedding, so that's what you'll get even if it's now spring in my part of the world - it just took me some time to figure out if the wedding should be in New York or in Lima ;)
> 
> I decided to split this part into five chapters instead of one long one-shot because a friend told me it might be easier to read it this way. I don’t know, but maybe she’s got a point. The first chapter starts on the night before the wedding.
> 
> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

Kurt, Friday December 21st 2018, 9.42 pm

Outside it's dark, it has been for hours, but in here my bedside light shines with a warm, dull yellow glow. I'm in my teenage bed, staring up at the ceiling, wrapped in an old woolen blanket that used to be my mom's. On cold winter nights like this, she would bundle up with the blanket and a warm cup of tea down here. Before it became my bedroom, the basement was her domain and she made part of it into a reading corner with a comfy armchair, a small table and with a lamp that later became my bedside light. She'd get completely absorbed in the stories she was reading and lose track of time, but whenever I came down, she would put down her book and open up her blanket for me to curl up next to her. The chair was too small for two, but still perfect for the two of us. 

Being down here alone, surrounded by her things, makes me realize how much I wished she was still here. I would love for her to meet Blaine, to see what an extraordinary special man he is and how lucky I am to be loved by him. But more than anything, I wish she could be here to see me walk down the aisle tomorrow. Thinking about her and missing her always leaves a feeling of emptiness inside me, but tonight it doesn't last very long. Thinking about tomorrow, about Blaine and me, quickly replaces the emptiness with happiness. 

I've been looking forward to this day for almost a year now, to marry the man who has made me laugh and love and cry more than any other. The man who broke my heart and left me a shattered wreck who believed he would never love again. The man who came back and made me whole. The man who completes me.

Nerves tickle the inside of my belly when I think about it. It's the good kind of nerves, the kind of anticipation and excitement. I've actually been looking forward to this day for much longer than a year. Way back when we were teenagers who discovered each other and what love really was, I think I started to plan our wedding already then. On some level I always knew Blaine was the love of my life, that there would never be anybody else quite like him. 

Everything is planned and prepared for tomorrow, there's nothing more for me to do than to get a good night's sleep and show up well rested tomorrow. Sleep isn't anywhere near for me though. It's too early, there's too much flutter in my body and I can't stop thinking about Blaine. I miss him even though it's silly because I saw him a few hours ago. It's only one night we're apart, but I can't help but wishing he was here with me, if for no other reasons than to hold me until I fall asleep. 

There is also this one thing I worry about when it comes to tomorrow, one thing that keeps me from completely relaxing. No matter how much I have prepared and practiced, there's no way I cannot not be nervous about this. 

To keep myself distracted I go over the words I've written to Blaine one more time, not that I need to, I know them by heart by now. When that doesn't help, I put on some music. Not just any music, Blaine's music. Even if Blaine isn't here with me, I can still listen to his voice and it's almost like he's here. I close my eyes and hug my pillow, pretending it's him. It still smells like him from last night when he was lying beside me and I curse traditions. We've always been untraditional but not seeing each other on the night before our wedding was something we both agreed on. Not that I'm superstitious, but it's seems like an unnecessary risk to take.

_Can you feel my heart, beating fast_  
_You make me fall in love tonight_

Letting the lyrics of Close Like This wash over me makes my skin prickle because they bring back that feeling of falling in love and that of realizing he loves me back. Blaine recorded the song for me once he found out it was my favorite. It sounds almost the same as the first night he performed it, stripped-down with only him and his guitar. 

_When we’re close like this, I get hypnotized_  
_When I kiss your lips, I get mesmerized_

Hugging the pillow a little tighter, I try not to get too carried away by my own emotions, but the truth is, I would give anything for to kiss him right now. 

The unexpected sound of a key turning and unlocking my door has me biting my lip to prevent a big, goofy grin from spreading across my face. There are four people beside me who have a key to the house, but there's only one with a reason to use my basement door. Blaine’s dark silhouette toeing off his shoes in the darkness brings back so many memories and that smile is there no matter how much I try to keep it away. 

“What are you doing here?” I admonish, though I'm thrilled to see him. “It's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding.”

“Actually,” Blaine says, and I can hear the pleased tone in his voice, like he's figured out the equation to eternal life, “it's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding on the day of the wedding. It's not our wedding day for another couple of hours ergo I'm not bringing us bad luck. Besides, I could hear Finn and Rachel giggle in the room next to mine and, well, I didn't need to hear what came next.”

“I miss you, too,” I say and open up my blanket for him to slide in next to me. He may make up as many excuses as he likes, but I know his true reason for being down here. 

“I know,” Blaine says and snuggles in close. “I can tell from your choice of music.”

His legs intertwine with mine, and I shiver as his icy toes connects with my calves. Or maybe it's from his cold nose when a feather light kiss lands on my neck. But no matter how cold he is from the freezing winter night outside, he always fills my heart with warmth. 

“Why the back door? Why not use the stairs inside and spare yourself from freezing your toes off?” I ask. 

“Because tomorrow we'll be married and this was my last chance to sneak past Burt to be with you,” Blaine says and I can see his silly smile in front of me even though I can't actually see it. 

“You know he wouldn't mind one bit that you're down here with me, right?”

“He had actually already fallen asleep in front of the TV, but that's not the point.” Blaine looks up at me and when our eyes meet he goes quiet. 

My breath hitches when I look into his eyes. _Will I ever not become breathless when I look at him?_ “What is the point?” I ask a bit hoarser than before. 

Blaine looks confused at first, but then a smile plays on his lips. “The point is that I love you.”

I don't know if that answers my question, but it's not like it matters when he looks at me like that and tells me he loves me. I tilt my head down to meet his lips in a kiss that leaves me breathless on a whole other level. Our tongues instantly connect and his hand cups my cheek and pulls me closer. He tastes like minty toothpaste, and as my hand strokes his arm and back I notice that he's already in his pajama ready for bed. “I love you, too,” I say when we stop to breathe. 

“I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight,” Blaine says, resting his head in the crook of my neck again. 

“Nervous? Second thoughts?”

“Of course not, silly. You have to hire a very strong man to pry me away from you if you want to get rid of me.”

“So you haven't come down here for one final night of amazing sex before you leave to never be heard of again?” I tease. “Good to know.”

“Meh, been there, done that,” Blaine teases back. “Besides, I told you I'm not having sex with you in this house.”

“Thank God we're spending tomorrow night away from here!” I exclaim like I’m saying ‘Hallelujah!’, happy that we can make jokes about the dark parts of our relationship. I know where Blaine draws his lines in our relationship and though I don't agree with him on this one I understand that he wants to respect Dad. Not that Dad’s ever set any rules on us spending time alone together down here, but he's the only parental figure Blaine has left in his life. 

Blaine's chuckle ripples through my body and I begin to chuckle too. Soon we're a giggling mess, wiping tears from our cheeks, and I realize this is exactly what I needed to relax. Blaine in my arms, kissing me and making me laugh. This is what I want for all the days to come in my forever with Blaine. I'm suddenly exhausted, days of planning and preparing and re-arranging seating arrangements in the last minute is finally taking its toll and I can't hold back a yawn. 

“Ready to go to sleep?” Blaine asks softly with a light kiss to my jawbone and I wonder if he came down here because he knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without him next to me. 

“No,” I say defiantly right before another yawn. “I want to lie here with you and talk all night.” I run my fingers through his soft curls that are still a little bit damp from his shower and place a kiss on his forehead. 

Blaine tilts his head back and looks up at me, a thousand smiles and promises shining from his eyes. “We have a whole future for late night talks, but we only have one night to rest before our wedding.”

I kiss him, because I can and because he's smart and because sometimes he knows me better than I do myself. I kiss him because I love him and because he makes me so incredibly happy. Because this is my last chance to kiss him before our wedding day. I kiss him with every ounce of love that I have for him. The kiss stirs the butterflies in my stomach and it's the best feeling. It stirs something else too, but I ignore it. It would be a vain attempt anyway. I don't know if Blaine can feel my growing erection against his thigh but he sighs blissfully when he pulls away. 

“Let me hold you,” he whispers and I happily shift so that my back rests against his chest, his arms hugging me like a tight blanket. “It's snowing outside,” he continues. “It will be a beautiful white winter wedding, just like you dreamed it would be.”

As he says those words, I realize that his hair wasn't damp from his shower, it was from the snow falling down on him. I should want to run to the window and look out, but I'm too tired and it's so good to be in Blaine's arms, feeling his semi-hard against my ass, and a magical snow fairy swinging her wand to create a beautiful winter wonderland couldn’t make me leave. 

“Will you still be here in the morning?” I ask, my mind already drifting. 

“Probably not,” Blaine murmurs softly. “Wedding traditions, you know.”

Blaine's hand finding mine, lacing our fingers together, kissing my neck and him mumbling some words I try really hard to listen to, but it's like he's in another world far away from mine, are the last things I remember before sleep carries me away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Blaine, Saturday December 22nd 2018, 11.37 am**

After Kurt fell asleep last night, I laid next to him for an hour or more before returning upstairs to the guest bedroom. I couldn't tear myself away from him. The last week since we flew back to Lima has been so hectic, especially for Kurt who insisted on being in charge of everything wedding related. I told him we could get any wedding planner he wanted, but he didn't want to hear of it. Our time together has been limited with both of us practically falling asleep before we’ve made it to our bed. So when I had the chance to hold him, feel his even breathing against my chest, I couldn't make myself leave. 

I tried to tell him what I've wanted to tell him all week since my plans has taken a more solid shape, but by then he was too tired and he needed to sleep more than he needed to listen to me so I let him drift off. I'll share my plans for our future on our honeymoon, when it's only him and me and plenty of time in our tropical paradise. 

“Are you ready for your big day?” Sam bounces into the room without knocking first. Quinn is right behind him, wearing the brightest smile, and the prettiest dress. The two of them together with Rose and Sebastian will help me get ready today. 

Our wedding party doesn't include a best man or a maid of honor, just our closest friends by our sides all day - before and during the ceremony. My choices were easy and I think Kurt felt the same when he choose Ali, Rachel, Santana and Elliot. They've all been there, at one part or another, helping us through life. 

“Never been more ready for anything in my life,” I say and hug them both tight. “This is it. I'm marrying Kurt, can you believe it?”

“Oh stop, or you’ll make me cry,” Quinn says with shiny eyes. “I know I'm going to cry so much today, but please not already.”

“How's Puck and Beth?” I ask to change the subject. “I haven't seen her in so long.”

“They're good,” Quinn smiles. “She's almost eight months now and she's growing so fast, but you'll see that for yourself soon.”

“And how's Ali?” I ask turning to Sam. 

A wide grin spreads across Sam's face at the mention of her name. He's so in love with her that he's moving to New York next year to be with her. “She's great! She's with Kurt, I think they already left.”

“Yeah, they left about half an hour ago.” I heard their car leave earlier and had to stop myself from running to the window to try to get a glimpse of him.

“Have you seen him today?” Quinn asks. 

“No, but we've been texting a lot,” I say and smile, thinking about all the sweet, reassuring messages we've sent each other throughout the morning.

“I'm so excited you're getting married here in Lima, where it all started,” Quinn continues. 

“We thought a lot about it, but in the end this felt more right than New York. Lima will always be home to us even if we never move back.”

Getting married in Lima is something we both decided on, but I might have been a stronger advocate for it. I don't want a big public wedding, this is a private moment between me and the man I love and I don't want to worry about paparazzi hiding in bushes or on rooftops. A small, intimate wedding in Lima is perfect. We've done our best to keep the wedding a secret from the public eye and I think we have succeeded. There will of course be a press release tomorrow but by then Kurt and I will be far away. 

“I'm certainly glad you we're here because now I get to meet Ali's parents and spend Christmas with them,” Sam beams. 

“And I'm so, so grateful that you are all here to help me through the hours until it's finally happening.” I wrap them up in a big group hug, glad to have such great friends whom I trust with everything. 

We get into Sam's car and pick up Rose and Sebastian on our way to the wedding venue. It's an old Victorian Mansion located 30 minutes outside of Lima. On the grounds of the mansion there's a beautiful stone chapel where the ceremony will take place. Kurt and I both fell in love with the chapel when we first visited last spring and we knew instantly it was the right place for us. It has wooden beams in the ceiling, church like windows all around the sides and a beautiful stone floor. There's no electricity so instead the chapel will be lit up by candles placed everywhere. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect place if I tried to. 

The drive takes longer than 30 minutes today with all the fresh snow, but we're having such a great time in the car that I barely notice. Everything is white when we get there. Snow covered fields and trees as far as the eye can see and it makes me so happy because it's everything Kurt wanted. 

In a room overlooking the chapel and the grounds surrounding it, we spend the hours leading up to the ceremony together. The wedding will be at 4 pm, when the sun begins to set on the shortest day of the year. My friends make me feel relaxed, we laugh and they share favorite memories of me and Kurt together. Quinn's is when she found us skinny dipping in her pool before none of them knew we were together or that I was gay. She tells us about the most beautiful kiss she had ever witnessed but also about me trying to deny my feelings for Kurt. It wasn't funny at the time but now I wonder how I didn't understand much, much sooner that I was gay and irrevocably connected to Kurt for the rest of my life. 

Rose's is when I walked into her bar to introduce her to Kurt for the first time, when we had to walk there separately to avoid getting caught together by the paparazzi. She tells us how she will never forget the smile on my face when he walked into the bar and I proudly introduced Kurt as my boyfriend, and how she could tell from that smile alone that the man standing next to me was a very special person. 

Sam's favorite memory is of a more embarrassing kind, of course. He tells the story of walking in on me and Kurt while he visited us in New York during Easter. It might be the most awkward moment of my life and it has the others laughing so hard tears come out. As for myself, I cover my ears and hide my face behind a pillow. But then Sam says that was the moment he got it. How strong our connection is, how rightly we belong with each other. It wasn't from the obviously amazing sex we were having (Sam's words, not mine), but from the way we both instinctively tried to cover each other from Sam's prying eyes. Our first instinct was to protect the other and not ourselves. 

I expect an equally embarrassing memory from Sebastian, but he must be affected by this moment and this day because that’s not what comes out of his mouth. He tells the story of when he uninvited walked into my apartment the day after I made the headline of every gossip magazine and social media account and found Kurt there. He says he’d guessed it was Kurt, but seeing him there and hearing Kurt say that he let me go once but he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice made him realize I was safe from future hurt. 

Later when it's time to get dressed, Rose fixes my hair and Quinn ties my bowtie. The laughter is gone and a serene yet serious silence settles over us. This is it. This is the moment I've been longing for and it's like they can sense my need to have this moment to gather myself before the ceremony. I'm not nervous or worried Kurt won’t show up, it's the enormity of what we're about to do that creeps up on me and I'm overwhelmed by it. I'm marrying Kurt. I will be his husband. Today. Soon.

The thoughts make me cry, happy tears, which Quinn is quick to dry before they fall on my suit. 

“He loves you so much,” she whispers, dabbing my cheeks with paper tissues. 

I know this, Kurt tells me every day, but her words still makes me sob even more. 

“Don't cry, Blaine,” Sam says, his voice more tender than I've ever heard it before. “Quinn is right and beside, you look really handsome, you don't want to ruin your tux.”

I look down at the dark navy blue tuxedo with satin black lapels that Cassandra designed for me with Elliot’s help. Kurt designed his own tuxedo but since we didn't want to know what the other would look like until the moment arrived, he couldn't design mine no matter how much his fingers itched to do so. Instead he asked his former boss, the only designer he trusted with the task to make me a suit. Elliot was there because he was the only one Kurt had showed his work to and the only one who knew what would match Kurt's tuxedo. 

I suspect Kurt's plan was to give me and Elliot the opportunity to get to know each other, and for me to see that Elliot is a nice guy, a funny guy, with no intentions whatsoever when it comes to Kurt. Whether that was the case or not, it worked. Elliot and I had a great time together and I now consider him my friend, too. 

“And you don't want to walk down the aisle with red, puffy eyes,” Sebastian fills in which makes me smile through my tears. 

I take a deep breath, composing myself. I don't want to look a mess when I meet Kurt. But then Burt comes into the room, eyes already read and shiny and my attempt to hold it together is completely in vain. He hugs me so tight I feel his heart beat against my ribs. They always made me feel like coming home, his hugs, and today I feel like I'm his son for real. 

“I just saw Kurt,” he says and I think it's meant to explain the tears, but to me it's a reminder that Kurt is here, too, getting ready, preparing to marry me, waiting for me, and that's when the nerves set in. My heart speeds, my palms become clammy and there's so much more than butterflies flying around in my stomach. I don't think Burt notices, he's consumed by his own feelings. 

“And now you...” Burt takes a step back to look at me. I meet his eyes and he looks so moved by this moment I can't stop the tears from resurfacing. Burt smiles and cries at the same time, his hand constantly going up to dry away tears. “My boys…” He straightens my jacket and bowtie like he somehow messed them up by hugging me, though I wouldn't care for a second if I got married in a wrinkled tuxedo if it meant I got to hear that proud tone in his voice. 

Sam walks up and puts a hand on Burt's shoulder. “Burt,” he says, and I don't know what else he intends to say because I quickly interrupt him. 

“How is Kurt?” I ask. I must sound nervous or worried because Burt is quick to reassure. 

“He's fine, he's fine,” Burt says and takes my hands in his to give them a reassuring squeeze. 

I'm suddenly dying to be with Kurt. To hold his hands and look into his eyes. To tell him I love him one more time so there's no doubt when he says ‘I do’. 

“A little impatient,” Burt continues, his smile growing wider. As does mine when I think about Kurt pacing the floor and cursing who ever decided a minute consists of 60 seconds instead of 40 or 30.

“Me too,” I admit and look at my wrist watch. 

Burt chuckles and dries some tears, then he gives me another tight hug and whispers, “I'm so proud of you.” I hug him tighter, hoping to convey what I'm too emotional to express in words. _I love you. Thank you for always being there for me._

Burt leaves and it's time. Quinn, Rose Sebastian and Sam leave me to make it down to the stone chapel and I'm alone in the room. I look in the mirror one final time, adjust the bowtie though it's already straight, and place a curl that's sprung free back in place. I'm ready. I'm filled with anticipation and flutter, but I'm ready. 

I open the door leading out to the hallway and there he is. Gorgeous, beautiful, amazing Kurt. He's looking out a window, but when he hears the door opening he turns around and our eyes meet. His smile is bashful and I feel suddenly shy. There's electricity in the air between us, my stomach swoops and it's like I see him for the first time in years instead of hours. 

“Hi,” Kurt says from where he's standing over by the window. “You look beautiful,” he adds in awe. 

“You look amazing. Your tux,” I say amazed, taking in his tuxedo. It's somewhere between dark purple and black with black lapels and a matching vest. When the light from the window falls on it it's like it sparkles and I wonder where he found the fabric. He's also wearing a black bowtie. I've never seen him in a bowtie before, but I love how sophisticated yet sexy it makes him look. 

“Yeah? You like it?” Kurt asks with a hint of nervousness in his voice. 

“It's amazing, Kurt. It's absolutely perfect. You've really outdone yourself.” 

“As did Cassandra and Elliot,” Kurt counters and gestures at me. 

I smile in return, shoving my hands in my pockets, feeling sixteen and getting tongue tied around Kurt. We fall silent for a moment. I don't know why I feel like I'm on a first date with someone I barely know, but I do. It's so silly because I know Kurt better than I know anyone. 

“Are you nervous?” I ask. 

“A little,” Kurt confesses. “You?”

I nod my reply. Then I can't take the distance between us anymore. “Do we have to stand across the hall like this?” I ask. “Can I hold your hands?”

A smile spreads across his face. “Of course you can.” Then he's there, right in front of me, lacing his fingers with mine and our hands connecting erases all the nervousness and shyness and I'm complete again. 

“I've missed you today,” I say looking into his blue eyes. They sparkle like the brightest sapphires even though the sunlight doesn't reflect in them over here. 

“Me too, baby.” Kurt breathes out the words like he's been struggling to breathe but now there's finally fresh air in his lungs. He leans his head against my shoulder and I hear him take a deep breath. My senses are filled with him. His hair tickles my cheek and his scent my nose. He smells so good, and I take a deep breath to breathe him in. His body heat radiates into mine and I could stay like this forever, close to Kurt, swaying softly like there’s music playing and we're dancing. I would if there wasn't something else I wanted more. 

“Are you ready?” I ask. 

Kurt leans back, looks at me and smiles. “Let's do this. Let's get married.” He tugs lightly at my hand, but there is something I want to do before we go out to the stone chapel and say ‘I do’ in front of our friends and families.

“Can I kiss you? Or do we save that ‘til later?”

“Please, please, kiss me,” Kurt pleads almost desperately, like me saying those words broke something inside him that he had tried to hold together but can't anymore. 

So I kiss him. I step in close, tilt my head to the side and kiss him. Not a quick peck, but a deep, passionate, fierce kiss. I kiss him like it's the last time I will kiss him. And it is in a way - our last kiss as not married engaged boyfriends. My tongue is deep into his mouth, tasting the peppermint chewing gum he must have thrown out right before we met. It doesn't completely hide the notes of champagne I taste on him too. I feel his hold around me tighten as he kisses me back with the same heat and intensity. 

When we pull away I'm breathless and Kurt bites his lip, looking flustered and aroused and this kiss was probably not the best idea, but I don't regret it for a second. Adjusting our clothes, we both smile, bashfully and excitedly, and I will my heart to slow down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Kurt, Saturday December 22nd 2018, 15.55 pm**

Dressed in white woolen coats, holding each other's hands, Blaine and I walk along the stoned path from the mansion to the stone chapel. The sun has disappeared behind white treetops, turning the winter sky a dusty shade of pink and lavender. The day is colder than any other day we've had this week, but the memory of the kiss we just shared keeps me warm. 

I'm beyond excited, this is the moment I've been longing for for so long. I feel like bouncing my way down the path, and though I'm sure Blaine would be very amused if I did, I try to restrain myself. That kiss was the highlight of my day so far. It was everything I needed. There are no nerves left, no worries about the reception or if everything is organized the way I want it to or not. If our guests found their rooms okay or if something is missing. I don't care. I'm marrying Blaine and that's all that matters. 

“How much champagne did you have?” Blaine's voice is warm and fond, almost amused, and I smile as I turn to him. Maybe I'm bouncing a little bit anyway. 

“Just a glass or two. Time practically stood still today and I needed something to make it move faster,” I say, thinking he must think I'm tipsy. I'm not, I'm just… happy. I'm in love and it feels wonderful. 

Blaine chuckles and gives my cheek a quick peck. “Where you cursing time today?”

“Maybe just a little. I might have wondered who decided on a late afternoon wedding instead of an early morning one.”

“I believe you were the one who wanted the last lingering daylight as backdrop, to get married at sunset.”

“Why didn't you talk me out of it?” I nudge his side playfully. I can't get the thought out of my head that we could already be married if we decided on an earlier time. 

“Because isn't this beautiful?” Blaine says and gestures towards the sky. “Isn't it romantic? Isn't this exactly what you wanted?”

“Yes, but-” I start but Blaine isn't finished yet. 

“I will always give you everything you want, Kurt. If it's within my power, I will make sure you never miss out on anything you want.”

“Baby...” It's all I can manage to say. I can't look at him, my heart is too full and if I do look at him it will burst and there'll be no way for me to walk down the aisle without tears streaming down my cheeks. I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it. I think he understands, I hope he understands what his words mean to me. What he means to me. 

We walk the rest of the way in silence, both feeling the seriousness of the moment. Soon we're standing in front of the chapel door. On the other side are our friends and families, the officiant, and the beginning of our forever. A life filled with gleeful memories waiting to be created, of laughter, of love, of unborn children, of our family. 

A light tug to my hand brings me back from the future to the present. I look at Blaine and is met by his beautiful smile. His cheeks are tinged light red from the cold, his eyes are sparkling like gold and his smile is as bright and warm as the setting sun. I squeeze his hand in return and tilt my head towards the door. Blaine nods and we enter the chapel. 

We let go of each other's hand only to remove our coats, but as soon as they're off our hands find each other again. A flash of memory from the first night after we got back together again, and the days that followed, reaches me. We didn't let go of each other's hands then either and I remember him saying that there was no reason why we should be so far apart our bodies weren’t touching. 

Music begins to play, the inner doors to the chapel open up, and we begin to slowly make our way down the aisle to Sam singing _Marry Me_ by Train. The chapel is filled with burning white candles in all sizes, standing on the floor, in window sills, on the altar, and in chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. With the sun almost set, no sunlight reaches through the windows and the candles are the only source of light. Even if I've been there, setting up candles and deciding on where everything goes, I've never seen them all lit at the same time and it's even more breathtakingly beautiful than I could have imagined and it sends goosebumps down my neck and arms.

We walk past benches that seats all the people we love and hold dear and they all stand up as we walk to the altar. The aisle and benches are decorated with white flowers - ranunculus, anemones, roses, peonies - and rose petals are strewn on the floor. It's everything I dreamed it would be. 

I don't dare to look at Blaine, so I keep my eyes on the officiant standing by the altar together with Ali, Rachel, Santana and Elliot on one side and Sam, Quinn, Rose and Sebastian on the other. The girls are all wearing cream colored dresses and the guys are wearing white tuxedos. Blaine and I are not wearing white, but we're still having a white winter wedding. 

My eyes fall on my dad and seeing him holding on tight to Carol's hand, his eyes shining, his face beaming, makes my heart clench. It makes me happy to make him proud of his boys, I know he is, he's told me numerous times. It's all I've ever wanted to do and every time I hear him say the words I feel like I did him right. He blows us a kiss and Blaine and I both return it. 

Then we're there, standing in front of the officiant, and I glance at Blaine. He's looking straight ahead, but as if he can feel me looking at him, he glances back at me. He seems calm and focused and it makes a calm settle in me too. He squeezes my hand and I return my attention to the officiant. 

“We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of Kurt and Blaine,” he begins. “This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgement of the next chapter in their lives together.”

His speech after that is a blur of familiar words and anecdotes about me and Blaine, about love conquering hardships and two people so right for each other nothing can keep them apart. 

I keep glancing at Blaine and he at me. I see his eyes well up and Quinn offering him a tissue, but all I feel is a tremendous happiness. I don't have any sadness in me, and though Blaine must be thinking about our past and everything we've gone through to get here, all I can think about is the future. 

“And now Kurt and Blaine would like to say a few words to each other and share them with us,” the officiant says. “Kurt, if you want to start.”

I turn to Blaine, take both of his hands in mine and look deep into his eyes. My heart suddenly begins to thud hard in my chest and my hands feel sweaty. I want to get this right. For Blaine, because he deserves the best. I know the words I want to say by heart, I've practiced them a million times, but I'm still scared of messing them up. I take a slow, deep breath before I start. 

“Six, almost seven years ago I fell in love with a boy so sweet and beautiful, my world was turned upside down before it all fell into place. You made everything make sense, Blaine. Everything that was confusing and scary suddenly wasn’t, not when I finally let myself see that I was in love with my best friend even though he was a guy,” I begin and a smile spreads across Blaine's otherwise so serious face. I hear our friends and family chuckle softly and I can't stop myself from smiling, too. A serenity settles over me and I speak from my heart as I continue. 

“I remember thinking sometime during the very first days we became boyfriends that ‘this is it. Blaine is it. The one person I will love for the rest of my life. I don’t know where this journey will take us but I know that I will always love Blaine.’ And it certainly has been a journey. It took some unexpected twists and turns along the way, but not once did I ever stop loving you. Everything we went through only made me realize how strong my love for you is and how I'm a so much better person with you than without you. I don't ever want to be without you, Blaine.

You make me feel like I'm the only person in a room of thousands. You make me feel special and loved and like I'm the only one. There is no one like you, Blaine. You're the most loving, loyal and caring person I know. You're beautiful inside and out, you take my breath away every time I look at you, and you have a way of making me smile when I want to cry for one reason or another.

You say you will do anything for me, but, baby, you have to know that there is nothing, _nothing_ , I wouldn't do for you. I love you with everything that I am and I'm so grateful to be standing here with you today, promising myself to you. I can't wait to be your husband and start our happily ever after.”

Nothing exists but me and Blaine. The chapel might be filled with people we love, but right at this moment there's only him and me here. His eyes are filled with tears and I let go of one hand to wipe away the tears trickling down his cheeks with my thumb. “I love you,” I whisper, “don't cry, baby.” 

Blaine let's go of my other hand and brings them both up to my face. He kisses me, just a quick kiss on the lips, but it's so unexpected I inhale sharply before relaxing again. There's a collective ‘awww’ from our guests but I barely hear it. All my focus is on Blaine. Looking into his eyes, seeing him, being in this moment with him is all that matters. 

“Sorry,” Blaine whispers before pulling back. “I couldn't help myself.” 

I smile because there is absolutely nothing to be sorry about. This is our wedding and if we want to kiss each other right in the middle of it, then we will. 

The officiant clears his throat to the amusement of our guests and smilingly Blaine takes a step back. His hands find mine again and I give them a light squeeze.

“Blaine, I believe you have a few words you want to say to Kurt, too,” the officiant says. 

Blaine looks at him and nods. Then he turns to me. “Kurt,” he starts but then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, collecting himself. When he opens them again they're brighter than before and there's a new determination in them. “There were days, years, when I thought this day would only exist in my dreams, when I lost not only you but myself, too. But then I found you again and even though you weren't mine to have, I decided to not be _that_ guy, the guy who gives up without a fight. Today I know that magic doesn’t only exist in fairytales and that dreams do come true. 

It all started with my love for chocolate and a lonely boy with chocolate chip cookies. But it wasn't only the cookies that made me walk up to you, there has always been something special about you that has made me feel connected to you. From the first time we met and became friends up until this day, you have always been the one thing that was good in my life. I was a mess back then when I fell in love, I still am, but you never once pushed me into being someone I wasn't comfortable being. You were always patient and you believed in us, you believed in me and you made me feel safe being me. 

That's how I feel every day with you. I feel safe. I feel normal. I don't feel like the guy who goes on stage and puts on shows for thousands of people, I feel like the teenage boy who fell completely and irrevocably in love with his best friend. And it's the best feeling ever. Every day I get to wake up next to you, I fall in love over and over again. But most of all I feel blessed. There are days when I still feel like this is a dream, but then I see you right there next to me, smiling at me like you're the one winning the lottery and I know I'm not dreaming. 

I don't make you feel special, Kurt, you are special. You are everything I've ever hoped to find. You're everything I aspire to be. You're my inspiration. You're my everything. Without you by my side, life wouldn't be half as fun or half as interesting. I know our future will be just like us, flawed and perfectly imperfect, but also filled with more love than I ever thought possible. 

Kurt, I love you more than I know how to put into words, but what I can say is that with you in my life there will never be a dull moment or a moment where I'm not happy. I've been waiting for this day forever, but I'd gladly wait an eternity to be your husband.”

A tissue is handed to me by someone. I've been listening so intently to Blaine's words, I haven't noticed that I'm crying. But with the tissue in my hand, I feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I have heard Blaine say many beautiful words before, but nothing like this and it's impossible to take it all in. That this man, who is my everything too, feels the same way about me. 

Blaine takes the tissue from me and dabs my face. I smile through my tears, my heart growing impossibly larger by all the love I feel for Blaine. 

“You look so beautiful,” Blaine whispers softly like he knows I'm thinking I must look a mess. 

Blaine then takes a step back, take both of my hands in his again, and we turn to the officiant. He lets us know that it’s time for us to exchange our vows. I turn back to look at Blaine and take his hands in mine again. When I speak there’s nothing but certainty and joy in my voice.

“I Kurt promise to you, Blaine, before our family and friends, to stand by your side, to share and support your hopes and dreams. I vow to always be there for you. When you fall, I will catch you. When you cry I will comfort you. When you laugh I will share your joy. No matter what lies ahead of us, I will see it as a journey, which can only be completed together. I promise this now and forever.”

Blaine’s vows are different from mine, because we are different and we express our love differently. 

“With all my heart, I Blaine take you Kurt to be my husband. I promise to be your lover, companion, and friend, your partner in parenthood, your ally in conflict, your greatest fan. I will be your comrade in adventure, your comfort in disappointment, your accomplice in mischief, your strength in times of need. I will listen with understanding, and trust you completely. All the days of my life.”

Elliot steps forward to give us our rings. He's been trusted to keep them safe today since neither of the girls have pockets in their dresses and since I simply don't trust Sam or Sebastian to not misplace them somewhere. 

“Kurt, place the ring on Blaine's finger and repeat after me,” the officiant says. “Blaine, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

With shaking fingers I take the platinum ring from Elliot and place it on Blaine's finger and repeat the words. It's a perfect match and it looks so right next to his engagement ring.

Blaine takes the other ring, repeats the same words and with some struggle, because my fingers must have swelled together with my heart from all the emotions I am feeling today, he places it on my finger. He's nervous, I can tell. His fingers are shaking more than mine. When the ring is finally on my finger he smiles, relieved, and turns to the officiant. 

“Please tell me I can kiss my husband now.”

“Just one more second” the officiant smiles amused and our guests chuckle. I have the biggest grin on my face, I share Blaine’s sentiment exactly and I love this needy side of him. 

“Kurt and Blaine, you have come here today of your own free will and in the presence of family and loved ones, you have declared your love and commitment to each other. You have given and received rings as a symbol of your promises. By the power of your love and commitment to each other, and by the power vested in me by the State of Ohio and American Marriage Ministries, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss one another.”

“Finally,” Blaine utters, awarding him more laughter, and then his hand is behind my neck, gently drawing me closer until our lips connect. I sigh blissfully into the kiss and part my lips to feel the sweet taste of him. _Heaven_. When our tongues connect and swirl together it's so powerful and overwhelming I have to hold on to Blaine's waist to not stumble backwards. His other hand sneaks around my back and steadies me. Blaine's got me. He will always have me. 

My eyes tear up again. There are so many different emotions fighting to make themselves heard I can't tell which one of them is making me cry. When we pull back, Blaine mouths ‘I love you’. There's a new kind of glow around him and smilingly I mouth ‘I love you, too’ back. It's not until then that I notice everyone standing up, cheering and applauding. Blaine's cheeks blush, as does mine, and I feel like a school boy getting caught kissing behind the bleachers. That's the problem with forgetting that there are more people than me and Blaine in a room. It's not the first time, probably not the last either, that we’ve shared intimate moments with others because sometimes everything and everyone else simply ceases to exist. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the officiant says, trying to make himself heard. “I give you Mr. and Mr. Hummel.” There's more cheers and applause, and I tear my eyes away from Blaine to look at the people we love who have come to witness the happiest day in our lives. There are so many smiling faces looking back at us, elated and teary-eyed, it makes me impossibly happier. 

Both Dad and Carol are crying, as is Maria, who smiles like a proud mother. Then there's Tina of course, clinging to Mike and crying more than anyone else, and there’s Puck holding Beth. There are people from work that we have invited; Cassandra, Jeff and Nick, and a few more. There is my grandmother, my cousins, my aunts and uncles. None of Blaine's family is there. Not his mother nor his brother. It's the way he wanted it and I didn't argue with him. 

“Blaine Hummel.” I hear Blaine mumble the words to himself and a warm and fuzzy feeling sneaks up on me. I've heard him practice the words before when he thinks I'm not around to hear him and each time I get the same feeling. Blaine's name followed by mine means more to me than the rings on our fingers. It's the ultimate symbol of the new bond we now have. 

A piano starts playing the notes of a song that's very precious to me. It's the first song Blaine sang to me after we became boyfriends. Soon the chapel is filled with Sam's smooth voice singing the lyrics to us. 

_Wise men say only fools rush in_  
_But I can't help falling in love with you_

__

I take Blaine’s hand in mine and together we walk down the same aisle we walked up 30 minutes ago, only now my life has changed. I feel euphoric. It's like there's something simmering under my skin, something effervescent, like my blood has been exchanged for Champagne. I'm so ready for the next chapter in my life with Blaine to begin. But first there's a wedding party to attend. 

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
_Darling so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_  
_Take my hand, take my whole life too_  
_For I can't help falling in love with you_


	4. Chapter 4

**Blaine, Saturday December 22nd 2018, 7.23 pm**

There might not be hundreds of guest at our wedding, or even fifty, but the ones that are here sure know how to make us feel loved. I don't think I've ever been hugged or congratulated as many times as I've been tonight. I can't stop smiling. It's impossible, not that I want to.

We’re in-between courses and I'm sitting next to Kurt on one side and Carole on the other, looking out at the beautiful room. Not only is the room in itself elegant with its wooden ceiling beams and large floor to ceiling windows in two directions, but the decorations are straight out of a winter wonderland fairytale. Everything is white, from the table cloths and the soft, padded chairs, to the flowers decorating the tables, the candles in chandeliers placed everywhere in the room and the drapes that softly hang from the center of the ceiling to the walls, between the beams. The strings of lights attached to the beams and the numerous candles are the only source of light in the room and it's truly astonishing. Kurt was insistent that there should be nothing to remind that Christmas is only three days away. 

Kurt is in the middle of a conversation with Sebastian of all people, and by the looks of it he's actually enjoying talking to him. Sebastian can be a nice guy when he wants to and I'm guessing the number of champagne sips Kurt's had helps. Everyone wants to toast with us, and while I'm sticking to non-alcoholic options, Kurt's got quite the taste for champagne. Despite that I know I will interrupt their conversation, I lean in and give Kurt’s cheek a kiss. 

Kurt immediately shifts his attention to me. “Hi,” he says softly as if it's a pleasant surprise to find me there next to him. “What was that for?”

“Have I told you how beautiful this place is?” The decoration is all Kurt and I'm amazed with all the things he’s done. 

“Only a half-dozen times.” Kurt smiles at me with something twinkling in his eyes. 

“Not enough then,” I tease and slide my hand down his thigh. I like the feel of his muscles under my fingers. It's nothing sexual, I just like to touch him, to be connected to him. 

“I'm glad you like it.”

I must have told Kurt the first three times I mentioned the beauty of the decorations that it's exactly the way I imagined it would be from the way he had described it and the way we had discussed it when we were planning our wedding. It's exactly as magical and breathtaking. 

“I like you more,” I say. 

“I like you the most,” Kurt says and though it's cheesy I can't help the way my heart starts beating just a little bit faster or the way my cheeks are suddenly heated. I bite my lip before looking away, down at my hand resting high on his thigh. I feel Kurt's eyes on me, following my gaze down to my hand. I can hear his thoughts clearly in my head, the silent plead for everyone around us to disappear and for my hand to move just a few inches to the left. The slight movement in his tight pants doesn't go by unnoticed either. 

“Come on!” Sebastian interrupts, sounding both annoyed and amused. “I'd say ‘get a room’ if I wasn't certain you'd take me literally and disappear from your own wedding party.”

“You're just jealous, Sebastian,” Kurt says. “I know you've had an eye on Blaine since the first time you saw him in that club in Columbus, but he's mine now.” It's the champagne making him talk like that. He wouldn't normally be so bold with Seb, but that doesn't mean I'm not totally turned on by him. 

“Ha! That would have been setting myself up for heartbreak. That boy has ever only had eyes for you.”

“That's true,” I say, looking up at Kurt again, my eyes meeting his, dark and lust filled. All I've ever wanted is to be with Kurt. Before I knew what it meant to be Kurt's, all those years after I lost him when I knew exactly what it meant, and every single day since I found him again. 

“It's a good thing he has such gorgeous eyes,” Kurt says to Seb, though his eyes never leave mine. 

My heart is still beating fast, my cheeks are still hot and I want to kiss Kurt in a very indecent way, show him how true Seb's words are. I settle for a more ‘friends present’-appropriate kiss, which is still more heated than the family friendly kind. Though by now, our family is used to us kissing without a care of who's watching. Sebastian chuckles somewhere in the background, but neither Kurt nor I care about him anymore. 

If it wasn't for a microphone crackling, a female voice cutting through the buzz of voices from people making conversation and having a good time, we'd get lost in kissing for several more minutes. But now there's the crackle and Ali's voice and we both turn towards her. 

“Hi, excuse me for interrupting,” Ali says, not looking sorry at all, rather she looks very much like she's enjoying having everyone's attention. “You all seem to be having a great time, and honestly it's hard not to on a night like this. But it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for.” She pauses for dramatic effect, making even me wonder what's about to happen. “It's time to hand over the microphone to our favorite father. Burt, the stage is yours.”

Burt stands up and accepts the microphone from Ali. All of our friends have met him when he’s come to visit in New York, and they all get this fond expression on their faces when his name is mentioned. I haven't met a single person who doesn't like Burt after spending a few minutes with him. None more than me though. It wasn't Kurt who insisted Burt met our friends, it was me, and I'm not ashamed to admit I like to show him off. 

“Thank you, Ali.” Burt's holding a piece of paper that looks as if it’s been folded and unfolded several times today. “I'm sure a lot of your fathers would disagree.”

“No!” Several people shout at the same time, making the rest of us laugh. 

“Okay, okay.” Burt chuckles and waves his hand at them to stop. He glances down at his paper for a second or two before he looks our way. “Kurt, Blaine, I've had the privilege to follow your journey from a front row seat. I've seen you grow up and grow into yourselves under my roof. I witnessed you fall in love right before my very eyes. I've seen that love being tested and come out stronger in the other end. And today, together with all of you here, I've watched you vow to love and be there for each other now and forever.” Burt pauses momentarily, looks down at his paper, then he folds it and drops it on the table. When his eyes return to us, there's a smile playing on his lips. “It's quite a journey you've put an old man through.”

Kurt's hand find mine under the table where it's still resting on his thigh. When I look at him, his eyes sparkle. Yes it's been a journey, but it's been so worth it to end up here. Everything we've gone through has shaped us into who we are and though it's been difficult, though it has hurt like hell and I've been miserable for years, I'd pay the same price again to end up exactly where we are and who we are today. 

“So, since I've taken both these boys under my wings, I would like to take the opportunity to say a few words about both of them,” Burt continues and I'm full of anticipation to hear what he has to say. “Kurt, you captured my heart on the day you were born. You were, and are, a beautiful boy who got all your good looks from your mother. As the years have passed by, I’ve became more and more in awe of you, and I feel blessed to be your father and to have been allowed to follow your journey to become the man you are today. If your mother was here to witness this day, I know she would be so proud of you. She'd tell you how amazing you are, and how lucky both you and Blaine are to have found each other.” 

Kurt's hand squeeze mine and I know he too wishes his mom was here, but also how he must be feeling thrills in his body listening to Burt's words. I don't wish my mom was here. She's a closed chapter in my life and beside Kurt the only family I need is Burt, Carole and Finn.

Burt turns his attention to our guests. “Growing up, Kurt was a shy kid. He would mostly play by himself, and he was his happiest when he could curl up in bed with his sketch pad, drawing anything from animals to rough designs of outfits he'd like to wear. He didn't have a lot of friends, and as a father I of course worried and tried to figure out ways to get him to have a more active social life. Kurt listened and complied, mainly to make me happy I think, but his attempts were only half-hearted. He still preferred his own company. That all changed when Blaine moved to Lima.

Blaine was everything Kurt wasn't, he was outgoing and social and they formed an unlikely friendship. He brought Kurt out of his shell, and for that alone I am forever grateful to you.” 

Burt looks at me with so much love I want to run up and hug him. He doesn't know that I needed Kurt as much as he needed me. If I hadn't become Kurt's friend, if I hadn't found someone I cared as much about as I cared about him, my life would most likely have taken a different turn. I think about that sometimes. Back then I had started acting out, which wasn't so strange considering what was going on in my life. We had moved to a new place, my mom only cared about whatever guy she was dating, and my brother was more absent than present. Had I made different friends then, had I not met Kurt and Burt, I could easily have walked down a different, darker, path in life. 

“Kurt blossomed with Blaine and the new friends he got through him. My house was suddenly filled with teenage chatter and it warms my heart to see all of you here today, still supportive and loving friends,” Burt says and gestures to the tables where our oldest friends are sitting. There's loud cheers from Sam, Quinn, Puck, Tina and Mike, and I think of all the fun times we've shared growing up together. I'm lucky to still have them in my life. “And they were just as rowdy back then,” Burt adds smilingly, making everyone including me and Kurt laugh. I guess we were kind of loud some of the times, but I believe Burt rather liked it. 

“Kurt, I admire the man you have become and what you've accomplished in the short amount of time you've walked this earth. You're well on your way to becoming one of the top designers in New York City while staying humble and never compromising yourself. And today you have married a man who I know will stand by you and support you in every aspect of your life. A man who's not only captured your heart, but mine too.”

I see a tear slowly trickle down Kurt’s cheek. He quickly wipes it away, as if he doesn't want anyone to see how much his dad's words means to him. I don't know why because the mutual love and respect between father and son is obvious to anyone in this room. I lean forward and kiss his cheek, feeling the remnants of his tear on my lips. His fingers caress my cheek and I lean my head on his shoulder, reveling in being close and being touched.

“Blaine,” Burt continues and there's almost a fond sigh after my name. “I've loved you from day one, even though you were a little rough around the edges when you entered into mine and Kurt's life. You've always been strong, even when you think you're weak, and your strong will was obvious already from the beginning. But hanging out with Kurt smoothened you and I think you found the context you were missing. And that's how it's always been with you two; you complement each other and bring out the best in each other.

And look at you now. You're the most unpretentious and humble famous person I've ever met, and I'm not saying that because you're _the only_ famous person I've ever met. You're going on your first world tour next summer, yet you're still the same boy you were when you entered into our lives, minus the rough edges. Yes there were those years when you slipped and fell, but you got back up on your feet and I admire you for staying you in the crazy world you live in.”

I hate thinking about those years and I'm determined to leave them behind me and not brood about the things I cannot change. But sometimes it's good to remember, to keep the memories alive as a reminder of how easily things can turn for the worse if you let them. That's what I do now. I remember and I promise myself to never take anything in my life for granted. Especially not Kurt and his love for me. 

Burt turns back to our guests and goes on. “I don't know exactly when things started to change between Kurt and Blaine, but when Kurt told me he was gay, I knew he was in love with Blaine. All the changes I'd seen in him and how he was around Blaine suddenly fell into place.”

“Did I act different around you back then?” Kurt whispers. “I don't remember.”

I lean back a little to meet his eyes. “I don't know, I think I was too busy falling in love and freaking out to notice,” I whisper back. I flip my hand so our hands are palm to palm and lace my fingers with his. I'm still falling and I will keep falling for this amazing person holding not only my hand but my heart too, every day for the rest of my life. And never take it for granted. 

“Kurt made me promise not to tell Blaine,” Burt continues, “and I didn't, but when Blaine came and told me he was in love with Kurt, too, it was really hard to keep that secret because God knows these two can be stubborn. But, as we've witnessed today they managed to find a way to tell each other, with only a slight nudge in the right direction from my side.” 

Burt keeps smiling throughout his speech, but at this point his whole face is beaming. He's been speaking to everyone present, but now he turns directly to me and Kurt. 

“Blaine, this is the moment where I'm supposed to welcome you to our family, but you're already a part of this family and have been for more years than you haven’t. Instead Carole and I would like to share a few words of wisdom from married life. We may not have been married for thirty years, but we have managed to gain some wisdom in the art of staying happily married none the least. 

Learn how to compromise. Don't be stubborn, or at least be less stubborn. Set aside time for just the two of you. You both live incredibly busy lives in the spotlight and I know it's not always easy to find the time you want, but set aside time that is sacred no matter what. 

Don't give up on each other. When things get rough, remember this day. Remember the love you feel for each other, remember the promises you've made, and remember your hopes and dreams for your future. Never stop being friends. Have fun together, be silly and do things together as friends. Your friendship is the base of your relationship so hold on to it. And lastly, never be afraid to love too much.”

I soak in his words, take them to my heart to keep them there until I need to take them out and repeat them to myself. I hope I’ll never need to, that life won't throw us more curveballs or get in the way of our happily ever after. 

“Kurt, Blaine, some say that their wedding day is the beginning of the rest of their lives, but your beginning started a long time ago. This is a milestone, one of the highlights, on your path together. There will be many more, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the heck out of this day,” Burt says and raises his glass. “To the happy couple, may your days be as joyful and fabulous as they are numerous.”

Our guests stand up, raise their glasses and repeats “To the happy couple!” The toast is followed by cheers and applause. With a heart filled with joy and love, I look at my husband, place my lips against his and smile into a kiss. 

The speech is followed by the main course and then the evening continues from there. There are more toasts held, the most memorable are from Seb who surprises me with not using a single innuendo and instead makes me cry, and a hilarious rap duet with Sam and Ali. Then there's our first dance as husbands followed by more dancing with every single one of our friends, including one dance with Quinn and Beth, who is an absolute angel despite the late hour and the loud music, before it’s time for our wedding cake. 

The cake is (of course) made with chocolate, it was the only thing I was really firm about when it came to the wedding planning. A white chocolate cake with white frosting decorated with snowflakes and pearls that swirl down one side. It's beautiful and it's almost a shame to cut it into pieces, but when the chocolate meets my tongue I moan. It's _that_ delicious. 

“I hope I get to hear you make more of those sounds later tonight,” Kurt whispers cheekily as he feeds me a bite of the cake. 

“If you bring this cake with you, I'll make any sound you want,” I promise with a wink and kiss his cheek, leaving a white frosting mark. 

It all passes by so quickly after that and I wish I could slow down time and enjoy every second twice. I'm having so much fun, dancing and talking and laughing, and completely lose track of time. At one point it feels as though I haven't talked to Kurt in hours. When I look around the dance floor he's no longer there. Last time I saw him, he was dancing with Santana, but that must have been twenty minutes ago. Or more, I can't tell. 

I search the room and spot him by the table talking to Maria, our house keeper. I leave Rachel, whom I was dancing with, and join them. 

“Hi, hubby,” I say as I slide down in the chair next to him. 

“Hi, baby, having fun?” Kurt's hand is on my thigh, connecting us again. 

“So much! And you?”

“The best time, but I'm glad you found me,” he smiles. “Wait, does this mean that snuggy has been replaced?” There's hope in his voice and in his eyes and it's adorable. 

“It's more like a complement,” I tease. Snuggy will forever be my nickname for him, but I think I can throw in a couple of hubby's every now and then. 

Kurt pouts, making him even more adorable, and I have to kiss him to turn the pout into a smile. When I lean back again, there's not only a smile on his lips but in his eyes, too. 

“Awe, Mr. Kurt you look just as in love as the first morning I found you in Mr. Blaine’s apartment,” Maria coos in her Spanish accent. 

Kurt chuckles. “I was very much in love with Blaine then.”

“Only then?” I ask, only to hear him tell me he still loves me. 

“Yes only then,” Kurt says and this time it's I that pout. Kurt gives my lower lip a soft kiss and speaks close to my mouth. “Now, I'm passionately, madly, intensely, crazy in love with you.”

I smile into another kiss because that's a whole lot of love. We look into each other's eyes and everything else fades away. His eyes sparkle with affection and tenderness, and even if he didn't just say those words I can read them in his eyes now. 

“I promised Mr. Sebastian a dance,” Maria says and stands. “I think now is a good time.”

I'm brought back and feel instantly bad for making Maria feel as though she has to leave. It's just, when I'm with Kurt, I lose myself in him and I love that feeling. But moments like this can be saved for later when we're alone. “You don't have to leave. I'm sorry, me and Kurt just…”

Maria chuckles fondly. “I know, Mr. Blaine. You and Mr. Kurt always _just_ … Don't be sorry. I like Mr. Sebastian, he makes me laugh.”

She leaves us and it's only me and Kurt for the first time since we cut the cake together hours ago. 

“This day has been perfect,” I say and move my chair a little closer to his and lace our fingers. 

“It’s everything I dreamed it would be,” Kurt begins but then he suddenly seems nervous. “There's just one thing…” 

“What is it?” I ask as an unsettled feeling moves into my stomach. 

“I… uhm… there's this thing…”

“What? Tell me. I'll do anything to make this day perfect for you.”

“No, it's not you,” Kurt assures me, though he still seems nervous, “it's I who need to do something.”

I'm confused. What does he mean? 

“Come with me.” Kurt stands and reaches his hand to me. When I take it, it's cold and a little clammy. 

“What's going on, Kurt?” I ask. Kurt's behavior is making me nervous and I don't like it. 

He doesn't answer, instead he grabs a chair in the other hand and leads me to the small stage at the back of the room. It hasn't been used for anything particular so far tonight, but now he sits me down on the chair, returns to the table and when he comes back to me he's holding the microphone used for speeches earlier. I can see a slight tremor to his hands when he handles the microphone, but his voice is steady as he gets everyone’s attention.

“This is our wedding day, and though it’s perfect in every way and a day I will remember with a smile for the rest of my life, I wanted to do something special for my husband.”

“Save it for the bedroom!” Santana calls from the back of the room and a brief smile curves the edge of Kurt’s lips.

“You wish, Santana. You know I would never share that with you no matter how much you beg.”

Santana blows him a kiss and laughter fills the room. Kurt blows one back before he turns his attention to me. “Blaine, my husband. God, I love saying that,” Kurt gushes with the biggest smile. The interaction with Santana seems to have taken the worst edge off of his nervousness. “Blaine, you’ve always pushed me to challenge myself, to step out of my comfort zone,” Kurt continues, “and do the things I think I cannot do. Especially when we were younger, but also now. You say that when I do challenge myself and trust my own abilities, the feeling of accomplishment and pride I'll get afterwards makes it all worth it. I hope you’re right because this is definitely me letting go of control.”

My heart beats impossibly fast – from his words, from excitement, from not knowing what’s about to happen but knowing that whatever it is, it will be worth the tachycardia.

Music starts playing and Kurt clears his throat and shifts from one foot to the other. I draw in a breath and my hands go up to cover my mouth. I can’t believe he’s actually about to do this. His eyes never leave mine as the first words of a song comes over his lips. I suspect it’s to pretend everyone else isn’t there, but I’m completely drawn into them.

 _From the way you smile to the way you look_  
_You capture me unlike no other_  
_From the first hello, yeah, that's all it took_  
_And suddenly we had each other_

I drop my hands and break into a huge grin. His voice is so beautiful, I’ve told him so on the extremely rare occasions he’s joined me in singing, and the song… I love this song and I love that he’s chosen these words to sing to me.

 _And I won't leave you_  
_Always be true_  
_One plus one, two for life_  
_Over and over again_

 _So, don't ever think I need more_  
_I've got the one to live for_  
_No one else will do, and I'm telling you_  
_Just put your heart in my hands_  
_Promise it won't get broken_  
_We'll never forget this moment_  
_Yeah, we'll stay brand-new 'cause I'll love you_  
_Over and over again_

I’m in awe, it’s the only way I know how to put words to my feelings. Everyone else in the room seems to be too. This is the last thing I expected from him, but I'm absolutely in love with his voice and with him for doing this for me though it must be so difficult for him. 

When the last words of the chorus fade away, an enormous applaud echoes between the walls of the room. I can see it throws Kurt off guard, like he’s suddenly woken up and realized there are fifty other people in this room. He’s been so caught up in his own song, singing his heart out to me, but now he blushes and stares at his feet. 

I don’t want him to get self-conscious, he’s so much more talented than he realizes, but I think he’s lost his courage to continue. I stand up and walk over to where he’s standing, slide one arm around his waist, tilt his face up with a finger under his chin, kiss his lips and when the second verse begins, I sing to him.

 _From the heat of night to the break of day_  
_I'll keep you safe and hold you forever_  
_And the sparks will fly, they will never fade_  
_'Cause every day gets better and better_

I sing like we’re the only ones in the room. I sing like the whole world is listening. The blush is gone, instead Kurt’s eyes gleam with happiness and love. His fingers grace my cheek in a gesture so sweet and tender before they move up to place a stray lock behind my ear. When I reach the bridge, Kurt has regained his confidence and joins me in the remaining lyrics. 

_Boy, when I'm with you I lose track of time_  
_When I'm without you you're stuck on my mind_  
_Be all you need till the day that I die_  
_I'll love you_  
_Over and over again_

-x-x-x-

Later, I don't know how much time has passed, I'm on the dance floor with Kurt, holding him close, resting my head on his shoulder and feeling his arms around my waist. It's late, it's been a long day but I don't ever want it to end. 

“Thank you,” Kurt mumbles into my hair. 

“For what?”

“For coming to my rescue.”

“Always. I will always be there for you.”

“I know, but it's nice to know it's not only empty words.”

“I can't believe you did that for me.” My fingers dig into his side as I try to hold him closer. “You were amazing, Kurt. What will it take to convince you to record a duet with me and come along and perform it with me on tour?”

Kurt snickers. “More than you can afford. In fact, no money in the world could make me enter a stage. Performing is your thing, baby, not mine.”

“But you're so talented, Kurt! And think of all the days, and the nights,” I add kissing his neck for extra emphasis, “we could spend together instead of apart.” 

Kurt sighs and runs his fingers up and down my back. “You know I hate being away from you, too, but we're strong. We proved this summer we can do it.”

“But is it really worth it?” I ask, my voice serious and lacking the softness that was there before. 

Kurt stiffens in my arms, it's just a slight change but one that I notice. “What do you mean? This is our lives. This is what you do, who you are. You're a performer, Blaine. You love your music. Of course it's worth it.”

What I don't think Kurt understands is that I love him more. I chose my music over him once, I've let it run my life for six years now, but I don't want it to anymore. I want to choose Kurt. I want to choose us. 

“I don't think it is.”

Kurt stops dancing and I lift my head from his shoulder so I can look at him. “What are you really saying, Blaine?”

“I spend almost as much time away as I do at home, and you know that's not how I want our life to be. So I had a talk with Jeff and the managers of the record label. Several talks actually, and I have negotiated a new contract. In this contract I commit to three years with a new record and a new tour each year. I actually said two years, but they wanted five so we compromised on three.”

“Three years?” Kurt says slowly as if he can't quite understand what I'm saying. “And then?”

“Then I'm free. I quit. Leave the music industry behind me.”

“No… but Blaine… wh… you can't quit… I don't understand.” 

I take his hand and lead him away from the center of the dance floor to a more private spot in the corner of the room. I hold him close when I begin to tell him what I've wanted to tell him all week, what I wanted to tell him last night when he fell asleep. 

“I love my music and I really like performing, but I don't like the sacrifices that comes with it. We’re 24 and I think it's time we start to think about our future. I want a family with you, Kurt. I want it so bad, and I want to stay at home and raise our kids. I don't want them to spend more time with a nanny than with their parents.”

“I want that too, but there's got to be a way to work it out without you giving up your career. Your fans love you Blaine. They love your music and they will be heartbroken if you stopped performing.”

“What about you?”

“I love you no matter what you do, but-”

“This is what I want. Don't you want a family with me?” I ask suddenly feeling uncertain. He's not as excited as I thought he'd be with my plan for our future. 

“You know I do,” he hurries to say and kisses me to prove his point. “I already have their names picked out, remember? But Blaine, I can't ask you to do this. I… my job… I can't…”

“You didn't ask me to do it, Kurt. It's what I want. I don't want my kids to have the upbringing I had. I want to be present for all of it. But I'm not asking you to quit your job. I would never do that, you love what you do and you've worked hard to be where you are. I just sort of fell into this and while it was my dream at some point, it's not anymore.”

“So you want to be a stay at home dad?” There's a hint of hesitation in Kurt's voice, like he's not entirely convinced I'm serious. 

“Yes! I have enough money to not have to worry about such things, and when the kids grow up, we'll there's plenty of time to figure out what I want to do then.”

“You've really thought this through, haven't you?”

“Yes.”

“Why haven't you talked to me about it?”

“I wanted to, but you've been so absorbed in this wedding, which I love you for by the way, and I didn't want to add one more thing for you to worry about. But I'm telling you now. Nothing is signed yet, but there will be papers waiting for me when we get back from our honeymoon. If you agree.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.”

“What if you change your mind after two years? What if you realize that being a performer is who you are and that's what you're destined to do?”

“Then I'm sure the record label will be more than thrilled to extend my contract. But I won't change my mind.”

“And you understand that I won't be home as much as you. My career is just taking off and there's so many things I want to do.”

“I know and that's why this is a perfect solution for us. I'm tired of the touring and the constant pressure to perform, on stage and off. I don't want the public life anymore, I never did. I want to retire, move somewhere far away.”

“But-” Kurt tries to interject. I know what he's about to say so I stop him before he can. 

“But I know your career is in New York or another major city and that's okay. I'll stay anywhere you want to live. It's not the where that's important it's the who I live with that matters.”

The way Kurt looks at me makes my heart flutter. There's amazement and so much admiration, and from that look alone I know I've made the right decision. 

“I love you,” he says and though he must have said it a million times before, I've never felt it in my core the way I do this time. It's like the first time in the bathroom at Quinn's pool party all those years ago when my world stopped and I couldn't believe that Kurt actually loved me. Me. A confused boy with no clue what was happening to him. But Kurt wasn't confused, he loved me despite all that I was and all that I wasn't, despite all the things I couldn't do or say. I remember feeling euphoric, high almost in a way I hadn't before. Kurt loved me, how was it even possible? That's the way I feel now too, only more intensely. 

For the first time in my life I feel like an adult, planning my future, making the right decisions. This is right. I know it is. This is what I want for myself and for Kurt. For us. Our life. This is the beginning to everything that's to come. 

“I love you, too,” I whisper close to his lips as I pull his face close to mine, just like I did that first time. 

Kurt wraps his arms around my shoulders and his fingers sneak into my hair. A shiver ripples through me as fingernails scrape ever so lightly against my skull and his fingers tug at my hair. His lips brush against mine, warm and teasing like an early summer's day. I pin my lips to his, needing more than just a shadow of a kiss. My tongue is in his mouth and I feel him gasp against my mouth and hear him breathe in sharply before surrendering to the desperation in my kiss. It's intense and so filled with longing it makes my belly swoop and clench. I want to be alone with him. I need him to myself. Just like back then, the intense emotions of being loved by the one person you love the most turns into desire to touch and feel. 

“Come,” I say, “I want you.”

“Now?” Kurt asks breathlessly, still not recovered from the kiss. “B-but our guests?”

“They're having a good time, they won't notice if we disappear.”

“I think they will, we're kind of the main attraction.” He gazes out across the room that's glowing in the light from the candles and the strings of light hanging from the ceiling, watches our friends and family dance and laugh like he's making an assessment. 

“ _Kurt!_ ” Maybe there's desperation in my voice, maybe something else, something fervent, but I need him to understand that I need him _now_. Not in 30 minutes or however long it takes to say goodbye to everyone. Now. 

Kurt returns his eyes to me and I see in them that he understands, that the urgency is there in him too now. He slides his fingers through mine and with quick steps, we sneak unnoticed out of the room, the music fading the more distance we put behind us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song _Over and Over again_ is performed by Nathan Sykes, and in the version I've had as inspiration it's a duet performed together with Ariana Grande.  
> When I started to write this story all I had was the idea of the wedding, taking place in Lima, and this song. Somehow it turned into this story :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Kurt, Sunday December 23rd 2018, 12.12 am**

The December night is calm and quiet, except for the crunching sound our dress shoes make when we trudge through the snow. It's freakishly cold, the temperature has dropped significantly since we walked from the chapel to the mansion. Our white woolen coats would have been useful now, but it didn't cross my mind to bring them as we rushed out of our own wedding reception. 

Blaine doesn't seem to notice the cold. He's eager and in a hurry, leading the way to the separate guest house away from the mansion where everyone else will sleep. His hunger for me has heat stirring low in my belly and anticipation raising high in my chest. If I said I hadn't been longing for this moment since we left New York, I'd be lying. A quick blow job or hand job with five minutes to spare before anyone gets home will never be enough. It might be fun, and yes everything with Blaine feels amazing, but it's not enough. 

The front door light is turned on for guidance, but I think Blaine would have found his way even if it was pitch black outside. It's like he has memorized the many steps and turns around buildings and stone walls on our frequent trips up here this week, like he wanted to make sure he knew how to find his way. 

The guest house is dark inside, but warm. I can smell the lingering remnants of a fire burning in the fireplace as I close and lock the door behind us. No one knows we're staying out here, they all assume we're staying in the suite at the mansion, but locking the door behind us has become a habit, a precaution taken when you live the life we live. I don't think the paparazzi have figured out the whereabouts of our wedding, I think Jeff would have told us, but I don't know for sure and I lock the door to keep them out, too. 

Blaine's fingers are on my bowtie before I have the chance to toe off my shoes. His lips are on my neck, kissing and nibbling, and the heat in my belly sinks lower. I love when he wants me like this, when it's urgent and life dependent. When time and clothes and space are obstacles he must erase. 

“This bowtie…” He breathes out the words between kisses, barely more than a desperate whisper, but I hear him as clearly as if his lips were next to my ear, athirst to hear every word crossing his lips. “You have no idea what you in a bowtie do to me.”

“I think I do,” I say breathlessly and run my fingers down his side to his crotch and take his hard cock in my hand. It's straining against his dress pants, eager and ready to be touched. 

Blaine groans loudly. “Why are there so many buttons to your vest? Why are you even wearing a vest?” 

Blaine’s frustration and desperation to have me naked in this instant is obvious. His need to touch and be touched unmistakable. There are three buttons to my vest, yet it's too many for Blaine. His fingers fumbles, unbuttoning one but getting stuck on the second. 

With one hand I swiftly unbutton the remaining two, keeping the other hand on Blaine’s cock. Blaine’s kisses are hard and hungry, his tongue deep in my mouth as he walks me backwards into the room while unbuttoning my shirt. My hands are peeling of his tuxedo jacket followed by his bow tie and shirt when something hard cuts into the back of my thighs. 

“ _Fuck!_ ” I hiss between kisses and use one of my hands to feel behind me. 

“ _Shit_ ,” Blaine mumbles and guides me to the left of the table standing in the center of the room. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes,” I deflect and push my tongue back into his mouth, ignoring the sharp pain. My hands are on his pants, his on my shirt, and it's a race of who can get who naked first. Eager, fumbling fingers, mine suddenly as fumbling as Blaine's, pull at fabric and buttons. I want to draw his face closer to me, run my fingers through his hair and deepen the kiss but I can't get the fucking button to come undone and it's frustrating. I want Blaine to come undone under my touch, I want him to fall apart when I twist my tongue around his cock, but there's a fucking button in my way. 

I hear a tear and the faint sound of small objects hitting the floor as Blaine rips my shirt open, buttons flying all around.

“Sorry,” Blaine mumbles against my mouth. 

I don't care about the shirt, not when Blaine slides it down my arms and trails kisses from my shoulder down my chest. His tongue flicks across my nipple and my moan comes out a deep growl as I'm the one coming undone by the licks of his tongue, careful and rough at the same time. Blaine’s kisses move lower and I give up on trying to unbutton his pants. Instead I surrender to the intensity of Blaine kissing and licking my belly button while unbuttoning my pants with such ease it's unfair. 

Blaine runs his tongue over the head of my cock, then opens his mouth to take me in. It's known and intimate and dizzyingly arousing. I search behind me for something to hold on to, to steady myself, but there's nothing but air. My hands go to Blaine's head, fingers digging deep into his hair as he hollows his cheeks and sucks harder. 

I close my eyes and let the heat course through me, block everything but my husband's mouth on me, out of my mind. But as the heat builds there's something at the edge of my mind that jostle for attention. 

“Hold on,” I say just before a moan escapes my lips.

Blaine shifts backward swiftly. “Kurt?” he asks. He's sweet, worried and as stunning as he’s ever been.

I hasten to reassure him. “No, nothing's wrong. I just…” I pull him up to eye level and kiss him to prove my point. “Let's slow down.” 

It's our wedding night. I don't want to rush this. Everything else this week has been rushed and quick, but now there's nothing but him and me and endless of time. 

Blaine nods and inhales a steadying, collecting breath. I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom where there’s a beautiful wooden four-poster bed waiting for us. We stop by the end of the bed to kiss. Deep, slow, long kisses. My fingers skim over his soft skin covering well defined muscles that stretches on forever. Blaine makes good use of the punching bag in our gym. When he's in there, he gets into a zone and releases everything he normally keeps bottled up. It's so beautiful to watch, I could spend an eternity doing it.

With less urgency, unbuttoning his pants is an easy task and when we're both naked I lower him onto his back on the bed. Everything is a little less desperate, though no less vital. I take the time to look as my fingertips slowly move over Blaine's body, mapping every line and curve. Blaine is gorgeous and pliant, all soft eyes and yielding muscles. I wrap a fist around Blaine’s cock and squeeze, making him gasp.

I lean over and capture his moan in my mouth, stroking him lazily. His cock is hard and heavy in my hand, and even as I move my kisses down his body, my lips following in the trail of my fingertips, I keep stroking, never missing a beat. Blaine's so responsive to everything I do to him, gasping and writhing. When I lick down his v-line, replace my hand with my mouth and slowly sink down on him, Blaine’s needy little gasps turns into a long low moan. 

I close my eyes and start to work Blaine over with my lips and tongue. I breathe carefully through my nose, then take Blaine deeper, sucking in my cheeks for more contact. Blaine’s hips shift forward as he cries out. I glance up for a moment, watching my beautiful husband lose control, then close my eyes and lose myself in the taste and sound of him.

Blaine’s fingers are in my hair, softly carding through it without guiding or tugging. It's only a gentle touch but it's everything and I have to control myself to not take everything I want right then and there. My cock hardens where it's caught between my belly and the bed, but it's not time yet.

“Turn around,” I say, and though Blaine groans when I pull off him, he complies immediately. Always so compliant, always so ready to please me. It makes me feel powerful, but I would never take advantage of it. Giving Blaine what he wants is the only thing that matters. 

I moan at the sight of Blaine's ass, slightly pushed back and lifted off the bed. I raise my hands to spread Blaine’s cheeks apart and lean in to bury my face in Blaine’s crack. I lick at his hole, careful little licks at first, then stronger and with purpose. I feel Blaine’s rim relax under my tongue. I turn for a second to take a breath then presses my face into Blaine and pierce Blaine’s hole with my tongue. Blaine gasps and his hips buck backward against my face. I keep penetrating him until his moans turn into soft sobs and pleadings.

I pull back. “More?” I ask spreading his cheeks and running my thumb over his hole, pushing lightly. 

“Yes, Kurt. Anything,” Blaine begs.

“Be patient,” I say on almost a moan, the sight in front of me so beautiful I can't take my eyes away from it. I want to fill Blaine now, I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to make Blaine wait either, not with how desperately he’s asking for it. 

I reach for the lube I had the foresight to place in the bedside drawer earlier this week. Blaine turns around and as I open the tube, hikes up his legs, holding his knees and spreading his body wide. He’s already almost open and ready to be fucked. I groan and press two lubed fingers into him steadily.

“It’s okay,” Blaine manages. “I just want you right inside me.”

I meet Blaine’s eyes as I draw my fingers out. Blaine rocks his hips then stills as I move over his body, leaning down to kiss him. My cock slides along Blaine's and with more lube I stroke us both swiftly before removing my hand again because touching is too much and feeling Blaine against me like this is just the right amount of contact to keep me in control without rushing forward. 

“More,” Blaine begs, eyes dilated and dark and so, so intent. 

I lean down to kiss him, deep and hard and controlling, before pulling back and lining up my cock against his hole. I watch as it slides in smooth, and slow, and agonizingly sweet until my balls are pressed close against Blaine’s ass. Then I stop. I hold my body there. Blaine twines his legs around me, panting beneath me. He's so tight inside, it’s almost an agony to resist just fucking into him, but I hold myself back. I lean forward and we breathe one breath, explore with lips and open mouths and tongue. And all the time I'm still and deep, so deep inside Blaine. There’s no beginning and ending, just the two of us. 

The heat that's been burning low in my stomach since the moment Blaine told me he wanted me, flares and burns hot and bright. Blaine rocks his hips upwards and I grunt with the effort, feel his hips shake. I almost can’t stop myself from thrusting inside Blaine.

Blaine rocks his hips again. “Come on, Kurt. Please fuck me. _Please_.”

Blaine is so devastatingly beautiful when he's desperate and begs. I can't make myself look away from his face as I lift his hips and begin to move, pulling my cock out of his ass then thrusting further inside. Blaine writhes beneath me, his cock pinned between us and pushing up against my belly. Our moans blend as I thrust and thrust and every tremor that runs through Blaine’s body ripples through me as well.

“Fuck, Blaine, you're so beautiful,” I tell him, to which Blaine responds with a cry, so deep and low it rumbles from his chest. 

His body is laxed and accepting and my thrusts are deep and fierce. With every thrust I'm a second closer to falling over the edge, but I still feel as though I could go on forever. Blaine trashes beneath me, desperately wanting more of me filling him up, pulling out and pushing in. Over and over again. 

I've been purposely keeping my hands away from his cock, delaying his release and prolonging the pleasure, but I see the desperation building in his eyes. He's so close and all he wants is to tip over, even though he's not in the state of mind to form the words to tell me. It's the sweetest agony to be right there on the edge, so close but not quite enough, yearning the release but wanting to stay in the feeling forever. He's been there for a while, but now it's becoming too much and I take him in my hand. 

Two strokes is all it takes. When Blaine comes he throws his head back, shuts his eyes and surrenders. It’s beautiful to hear him cry out, feel him clench around my cock and gush his release between us. I thrust deeper and rougher, let go of the last piece of control I've used to make sure Blaine safely could lose his. My orgasm shudders through me and explodes bright and fierce. I never want it to end and for a few seconds it believe it won't. I keep thrusting hard into Blaine, desperately clinging to my release. 

It does end, eventually, and when it does, I collapse on top of Blaine, my breathing short and shallow. Blaine's hands are instantly holding me, stroking up and down my back, helping me to come down. He waits to speak until my breathing is back to normal. 

“Kurt?”

“Mhmm?”

“Don't ever stop making love to me like this.”

I smile into his chest, loving him a tiny fraction more than before. “I promise.”

We lie like that for I don't know how long, my cock still buried deep in him, his fingers trailing lazy patterns on my skin. 

“Are you tired?” Blaine asks after a while. 

“No.” I'm spent and boneless, but not tired. “You?”

“No.” Blaine kisses the top of my head. “Want to take advantage of the outdoor hot tub?”

“What time is it?” I have lost all concept of time and have no idea how much of it has passed since Blaine and I left our reception.

“It's three hours until the car comes to pick us up, but I don't feel like sleeping.”

“I don't feel like moving.” 

Blaine chuckles softly. “I kind of have to.”

I know he does, I need to shower too, but that doesn't mean I want to right now. I could happily stay like this for three hours, with Blaine surrounding me everywhere. 

“But my trunks are at the bottom of my bag.” It's a weak attempt, but my brain is fucked out and can't think of anything better to say. 

“Who says we need trunks?” The smugness in his voice is obvious, and my determination wavers. “We have two weeks to be naked and lazy in bed, but only tonight to sit in a hot tub surrounded by snow and the cool winter night. Please?”

I turn my head up to kiss him and then I slide out of him, as slow as I possibly can because this is the worst part of having sex. I want to stay in him, be held by him, but I also want to give him everything he wants and right now that is time in the hot tub. 

Blaine leaves me sprawled on my stomach on the bed, kissing me before slipping into the shower. I'm left on a wet spot but can't find it in me to care. I'm sated and relaxed and happy. So very happy. 

-x-x-x-

Blaine looks completely tranquil where he lies with his arms stretched along the edge of the hot tub, eyes closed and face turned towards the sky. My breath catches a little at the sight and I can't make myself say anything. I lean against the doorframe, admiring him. I don't think I'll ever get over how beautiful he is. I don't want to disturb him, it's not often I get to see him this peaceful, but maybe that's not the only reason. Maybe it's a little bit of selfishness too, admiring him from afar, taking in all that he is, wanting to keep him like this, to remember every detail for days when he's stressed or not around at all. Maybe that's the only reason. 

But it's freezing outside and if I don't move soon, I will turn into an icicle. So I tiptoe across the icy wooden patio to the submerged tub, slipping a little as I go, suddenly eager to get into the hot water, away from the freezing winter air. Blaine opens his eyes and turns to look at me when he hears me coming. His face breaks into a smile and he offers a helping hand when I step into the tub.

“This was a good idea,” I purr where I lie in Blaine's arms with our hands folded together across my stomach, surrounded by hot water. He's fidgeting with my new ring, twisting it around my finger like he acquaintances himself with it. 

“Look at all the stars, isn't it amazing?” Blaine asks and tightens his hold on me. 

The pitched black night sky is filled with millions of glittering stars that seems to stretch on into infinity. It's not a view we're used to in New York where the stars are outshone by the dazzling lights of the city. Out here it's different, it's mesmerizing and… 

“Absolutely breathtaking. Like you,” I say and turn to look at him. 

Blaine's smile is generous and his eyes are bright and sparkling, just a shade shier than the stars. I can't help the little thrill that rushes through me at the realization that Blaine is my husband. That Blaine, so beautiful it hurts to look at him sometimes, especially now when the soft glow of the moon reflects in the water and casts shadows along the curve of his jaw, is somehow all mine. And he has plans for our future, plans that makes my pulse flutter when I take a second to think about them. 

“Why are you looking at me like you have a secret you don't know if you want to share?” Blaine asks nibbling my lower lip. 

“I watched you dance with Beth,” I say causing a confused expression. 

“Yeah?”

“The way your whole face lit up in her presence, like she was the most precious thing in the room. You really want kids, don't you?”

“I do,” Blaine says pensively. “Are you having second thoughts? It was kind of a lot to spring on you on our wedding day.”

“No,” I smile. “I want everything with you. I was just thinking. These things take time and maybe we should start looking into our options.” There are so many options to decide among, but even after we've decided which is the right one for us, it's not as easy as waiting nine month to have our baby and I have no clue how to approach it all. 

“I love you so much for saying that.” Blaine presses his lips so softly against mine and I shiver with something that has little to do with the light, familiar touch, and everything to do with the serious, intense look in Blaine's eyes. “Let's start when we get back from the Bahamas.”

The Bahamas. I can't wait to go back to our little piece of heaven. Warm breezes, white sand, turquoise water and time for just him and me to do whatever we want. 

“I was thinking,” Blaine says. “This time maybe we should explore the island a little more. Rent some bikes, a jet ski, try some other restaurants.”

He's right. Last time we stayed in our bubble because that's what we needed. Everything was still new and we were adjusting to each other and living together in the spotlight. A year has passed, we have grown and are much more comfortable with ourselves and our life. At least I am, I don't think Blaine will ever be completely comfortable with the fame and bringing me into it. 

“Sounds perfect,” I say. “If I remember correctly there was a Spa there, maybe we can try it out. Maybe we even dare to interact with the other guests at the resort.”

“You're a bold man, Kurt,” Blaine chuckles softly. “But as long as I get to have you completely to myself at night, I think I can agree.” He nibbles gently at my left earlobe, tracing his tongue along the curve of it, making me shiver, my body instantly reacting to the sensuality of it. 

“I'm always yours, no matter the hour or place.”

Blaine’s fingers slide low on my belly, gracing the inside of my thighs and skimming over my cock. Touching but not touching, enough to make my skin tingle and wake my hunger. His hand folds around my cock, tugging softly, making me moan deep and low. I close my eyes and lean my head back against Blaine's shoulder, surrendering to his touch. 

I swell in his hand, become harder, and as I do, Blaine's fist tightens around me, pulling harder and faster, making water splash. He does a twist to his hand every time he moves over the tip of my cock and then he slides his thumb across my slit on the way down. It's so perfect and exactly right and waves of pleasure shoot through my body.

“Blaine?” My voice comes out low and needy. Heat is building in my stomach and my breath is coming fast and harsh. I shouldn't be at the verge of spilling over already, he's barely even started, but I'm undeniably there and I can't hold back much longer.

“Yes?” Blaine's voice is almost as needy as mine, as he breathes out the word on my skin. The hot gust of breath close to my ear, raises the hair on the back of my neck and pushes me closer. 

“I'm so close. _Please_.” I'm not sure what I'm begging for, I just need him to help me reach that place where nothing else matters. 

Blaine quickly slides out from under me, lifts me up on the ledge of the hot tub and sinks his lips around me. Blood roars in my ears, my back arches as I grip the edge of the hot tub so hard my knuckles turn white and then I cry out his name when I come in an orgasm so profound I don't notice the water on my skin turning to ice. Blaine greedily swallows every drop of my release, leaving nothing, and when he pulls off he slides me into the hot water and holds me in his arms. 

My mind is dizzy from going from hot to cold to hot again. The intense pleasure of my orgasm does little to clear my mind and if it weren't for Blaine holding me tight, keeping me grounded, I'd surely pass out. I try to focus my senses on the rhythm in Blaine's fingers stroking my arms and my sight on the stars so distant yet everywhere around us. Slowly my heartbeat comes back to normal and my thoughts become coherent again. 

I don't know where it comes from, maybe it’s my speech to Blaine earlier, but my mind recollects a different night sitting like this with Blaine’s arms wrapped around my chest, gazing up at the stars. There was no hot tub then, but a rooftop and lots of pillows and Blaine telling me he was gay. It feels like a lifetime ago. 

I tell Blaine my thoughts. He stays quiet for a few seconds, seconds where I’m back on the rooftop, feeling as confident about our future now as I did then.

“I remember that evening. I remember being the happiest I'd ever been,” Blaine says after a while. “I've experienced that feeling three times since.” I turn my face away from the stars to look at my very own star, the biggest and brightest of them all. “That night we kissed on the high line and the sky opened up on us, when I understood that you'd forgiven me and still loved me.”

I smile and peck his lips. That is one of my favorite moments, too. 

“Then,” Blaine continues, “on another night much like this with only you and me and the moon and the stars, when you asked me to marry you.”

Another kiss, this time deeper with tongue. I turn around so that we're chest to chest and thigh to thigh. Blaine looks into my eyes when he continues. 

“And today, marrying the one person I've ever truly loved, discussing our future. Nothing beats today. _This_ is the happiest I've ever been.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for now, but maybe not forever. I have one more one-shot in mind that I want to write in this verse, so when the time is right and inspiration strikes I’ll finish this story with giving you baby names that’s been on my mind since the epilogue of Beautiful Mess. 
> 
> If you want to read more from me, I have two short stories (or long one-shots) that I plan to post a few weeks from now that has nothing to do with Beautiful Mess but everything to do with Kurt and Blaine :). Until then – enjoy life and if you feel like dropping a comment below, nothing would make me happier!


End file.
